After almost 3 years of being in relationship with my husband, were having trouble in our relationship. Like what they say, it's normal to have fights, misunderstandings and arguments. But when you start analyzing how you feel to each for each other, that's the scary part i think.
I've been analyzing myself, my heart once in a while. Specially after fights. I'm asking myself, "why he always make me cry? why do i feel pain? am i right in marrying him?" Those questions keep on running into my head. But then, once i started hearing his voice, watching his smiles and listening to his laugh..then i realize, "yes i was right! i really love this man and i will never regret marrying him."
I admit, I'm not as perfect as he wanted or as he expected. But as years go by, I am doing my best to keep on improving on my changes to myself. Just to make him feel happy and satisfied for what I am turning out.
But lately, he can't see me as a woman. He can only see me as a girl. A young little cute girl. He thinks I'm pretty but not attracted to me. Sound weird? Yeah I know. But can I do? He is falling out of love from me :(
Very sad, yes. Because thinking of myself being out of love from him(which i feel sometimes), I still try to make out to him by counselling myself. Making myself realize what I have and what should I appreciate. And falling out of love is not a choice to make or feel every after fights.
How I wish he could also make an effort on reminiscing our moment to make him feel in love again to me.
People really do change. He did changed. Just wanna ask? why is it guys always take girls for granted once they know girls are very into them? Why they stop to be like them on the first times they met and on courting stage? Is it wrong to feel like you are treated the way they treat you on the first months you are together?
Will you consider me selfish? wishing him to come home after a year and five months of being apart physically? Is it wrong? I don't know the right answers.
Now I'm so full of unanswered questions. I don't know how far could I take? Specially now, knowing he don't love me as he do before..it's much lesser now..way lesser. :(
What if something bad happen to me? You think he'll realize I'm somewhat important to him too? I hope its not too late once he realize I'm all worth it..all the pain and sacrifices. I hope its not too late.
signing off..
babykitty >^.^<
